Very very sleep deprived.

Can't wait for this to be over.

Hate finals

of love and pain

Something always brings me back to you.
But, I don't wanna go there again.
Guess our timings never sync-ed once.

so it wasn't as bad as I anticipated it would be. no tears. no drama. just pure pain and disappointment.

I did thought I was special in some ways. well now I know that was all bullshit, or at least whatever place you had for me is all gone. replaced.

I can't miss anything. How can one miss what she's never had and reminisce when there is no past. How could my mind pull up incidents, recall dates and times that never happened.

easy for you to start anew, while I'm stuck with everything that reminds me of you. fuck. did that just rhymed?

no complains. only hoping for a better luck.

and this is how the story ends,

I'm a person who cares too much what people say, even if it means zilch, I get offended. When I stand up for myself,  it often fell on dead ears, the jokes carried on, hurtful lines kept replaying. I hate the hypocrisy I carry around sometimes. But if that protects me, that's fine with me. If I have to resort to scheming/manipulative ends, I'll do it without feeling a tad sorry for them or myself, cause I dont get anything out of it except paying them in their own coins.

Ever felt paranoid about the moment you turn your back, they are actually jeering and bitching about you?or the worst scenario whereby they're exchanging glances right in front of your face?giving each other the 'see what I told u about her' look. Or even times they just dont care and openly bitch about u and u have to hear the cold hard truth with your own ears.

It's not that I'ver never attempted to be the ideal good friend and try to bury past conflicts. But this has come to a stage, whereby doubts pile up so high, too high to ignore. To the stage where my last nerve has been plucked. I hate the idea of us hiding behind this monitor screen and posting malicious statements about each other.

It's high time I've learned to start surrounding myself with people that actually cares. Only through hard ways, people learn.

I'm so plagued with fatigue I'm feeling rather cranky. I really hope I'd survive the week, with exams everyday and more.. It's crazy I'm literally pushing myself to my limits this week.

I was walking thru the campus after 2.5 hours long of accounting class, all of a sudden, wind was blowing fiercely against me. I quickened my pace, clutching on to my thin layer of sweater, my hair was all over my face, obstructing my view. I got home with little tree branches stuck in my hair and cold hands, yet I kind of liked it. Seems like LA has finally phased into winter?

Last week was USC's halloween party~ I love dressing up for halloween, it's definitely one of my favorite holidays. The party, was however mediocre. It was way too hot, there were way too many people. But it was fun bumping into everyone I haven't seen for a long time.

What am I gonna wear for halloween itself?something comfortable probably since I'm gonna be standing all day long at Monster Massive. I have to go trick or treat.

Went target shopping with Eden just now, haha it was quite fun actually if I wasn't so sleepy. Target really has some awesome shit. Yes I find hanging out with girl friends very appeasing sometimes.

eden is shy <3

Future. Career. Success. Suddenly all these three seemingly menacing topics have struck me in the head all at once. So much so I'm having a huge headache right now. Literally.

While it's tiring to chase dreams, it's even more tiring to have no dreams at all, and moving aimlessly in circles just to.. test the waters.

I have a sudden urge, to abandon everything and just return to hk.

School sucks...no school don't suck...Exams SUCK!!!

I have my first midterm coming up next monday...Cultural anthropology...I have an entire book to finish and 5 chapters from text...

LA rained!!!It freakin rained for 2 days!!!I can't remember the last time it rained here....february maybe???

I saw Jay Chou yesterday!!!So I was very sick and looking all gross with no makeup on...wearing UGG boots and sleeping pants...me and a very similarly dressed Eden strolled into a kinda fancy japanese Shabu Shabu restaurant and sat down thinking we wont bump into anyone...I swear right before we went in...I was like "wad if we bump into someone famous?" Eden was like "wake up bitch...that'll never happen"....AND THEN!!!Jay chou walked out from the bathroom...I was still too engrossed in reading the menu when Eden practically yelled 周杰倫!!!So I looked up and saw him sat down with this girl...AHHHHHH....If only I looked better...I would've went up and ask for a picture...wadever...I'll bump into him again I'm sure....lol...

Please stop raining....I can't find my umbrella.